


The Jaws of Death

by storm_of_sharp_things



Series: The Quest for Q [7]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe, Crack, F/M, M/M, MI6 Cafe Choose Your Own Adventure April, MerMay, Mermaids, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24354322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things
Summary: MI6 Cafe Choose Your Own Adventure April!The quest continues...We tentatively approach#11 - The Jaws of Death:Fill ananon promptthat no one has done yetJames and Alec and Eve find themselves swimming with sharks...of a sort...
Relationships: James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan, Jaws/Dolly
Series: The Quest for Q [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690834
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: MI6 Cafe Collections





	The Jaws of Death

**The Jaws Of Death**

Off the main road there was a route through the mountains that ended at the edge of a beautiful fjord. The three stood at the top and stared down at a heap of metallic wreckage, partially submerged, that gaped like a jagged open mouth screaming at the sky. There was a rough wooden stairway that led down the cliff to a rocky beach.

Eve regarded the whole scene with a deeply dubious look. “That certainly looks like something you could call the jaws of death...”

“The map objective says ‘Fill an [anon prompt](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1LwtIoqppLgPC3D0bJ5HF7ZcIJEnNgGmQcm21977FGJc/edit#gid=628702862) that no one has done yet,’” Alec replied. “I’d guess this is another one that’s out of our control.”

“Jaws...” mused James. “I have a feeling this one is going to be...strange.”

Alec shrugged and headed for the wooden stairs. “Well, we won’t be bored.”

From the beach, there was a path through the tangled wreckage that led to the remains of a metal platform over the water. Eve scowled at the twisted remnants. “It looks like someone’s idea of a space station from the 1970s.”

Out in the distance, a massive fin broke the surface briefly and disappeared again. “Shark,” Alec said with distaste. “A big one.”

“What do you have against sharks?” All three agents turned to stare at the young woman with blonde braids and glasses who had surfaced some distance away, her shoulders above water and her arms crossed.

“Nothing personal aside from the whole being bitten thing,” Alec shrugged. “Just that so many bad guys seem to think they’re ideal weapons.”

The young woman laughed. “It’s not as though they have lasers or anything!”

Alec gave her a dubious look. “How would that even work?”

Eve leaned on the rickety railing and stared at the girl in interest. “You’re not standing on something, are you?”

“No, silly!” She giggled. “Didn’t you read the sign?”

“What sign?” Eve glanced around and then at Alec and James.

“Oh, it might’ve have fallen down again. Are you stepping on it?”

James bent and picked up a metal sign engraved in swirly, curly script.

**_all the happy mermaids au_ **

“Mermaids?” Alec snorted. “First zombies, and now _mermaids?_ ”

“Hang it back up on the hook there,” the young woman instructed with a sweet smile. James did, but as soon as he let go, the weight of the sign dragged the hook down and the platform swung out from under them, dropping them into the water.

James cursed and stroked for the surface, swimming so hard he exploded from the water and fell back under in surprise. His long fish-scaled tail thrashed until he managed to stop moving and take stock of the situation.

Alec was hanging sideways in the water, naked from the waist up, trying to examine his own green-scaled tail. Eve was admiring a bikini top that the young blonde mermaid was offering. It matched Eve’s new metallic copper scales beautifully.

James’ own tail was a bright electric blue that probably matched his eyes and he couldn’t help but smile at the grace of it as he shifted in the water.

“What if I wanted a bikini top?” Alec teased, gliding over to Eve.

She raised an eyebrow. “You could never make this look as good as I do, Alec.”

“We can pierce your nipples if you want to be decorated, mister,” the blonde offered. Her dark gold and cream tail curled mischievously.

James snorted. “He’s been there, done that, and had them out again within 6 months.”

Alec pouted. “It wasn’t as much fun as I’d been led to believe.” Eve rolled her eyes.

The blonde mermaid laughed. “Well, anyway, welcome to the Jaws of Death. I’m Dolly, can I offer you some shrimp? Sea urchin maybe?”

“So the happy mermaids AU takes place in a location called the Jaws of Death?” Eve scowled. “Sounds...sketchy...”

“Reminds me that there’s a bloody great shark about somewhere,” Alec growled, spinning to glare in all directions. James admired the muscular lines of his body as he twisted and turned.

Dolly laughed. “Oh, Jaws is definitely around somewhere, probably hunting for dinner. He’ll be back shortly.”

“Jaws...as in the great white shark?” Eve’s fingers fluttered at her side where she’d normally carry her gun.

“No! ...well, not entirely, anyway.” Dolly laughed again.

James sighed as all the clues came together. Being in a dream certainly seemed to make him think slower. “Jaws of the steel teeth. Who is likely a shark merman in this AU. Well hello, Dolly.” He smiled weakly. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you at first.”

“Well, Mr Bond, you’re looking a little different these days yourself.”

Eve snorted. “That’s a thing that so many people say.”

Alec poked her. “Not like you can talk, Miss Moneypenny. _I’m_ pretty much the same as I’ve always been.”

“Yes,” she replied, swatting at his finger. “An eternal child. Hairy gods, that’s a big shark...man...creature...”

James turned to find Jaws, an already huge man with an immense great white body, swimming up towards them. Dolly darted forward to hug him and beam up at his frown. “We have visitors! You remember Mr Bond, don’t you?”

Jaws grunted, staring at James in suspicion, then grinned alarmingly, steel teeth gleaming through the clear water. He nodded, holding out a massive hand.

James took it gingerly and was hauled into a hug that involved much enthusiastic thumping of his back. “Glad...to see...you both... _made_ it...” he wheezed between thumps.

Jaws beamed at him and gestured around, then swept Dolly into his arms and growled happily. Dolly giggled and snuggled under his chin, her scaled tail curving around his body.

“Well,” Eve said hastily, “I’d say that’s sorted and, er, we can be off, right boys?” She tugged urgently at both James and Alec. “We, ahhh, we can get out at the platform, right?”

Dolly waved a distracted hand at them as she twined around Jaw’s shark body, nuzzling at him.

Eve dragged James and Alec over to the platform and shoved them towards the surface, whispering fiercely. “Out! Let’s go!”

“What _is_ the rush?” Alec demanded, pulling himself up and finding his clothes, and legs, intact as he left the water. James joined him and they both turned to give Eve as hand, lifting her above the surface and making their way back to the beach.

Eve shook her head as they started to climb the long stairway back to the top of the cliff. “You’ve never seen video of sharks mating, have you?”

“Not the sort of videos he looks up on YouTube,” James snorted.

Alec leered at Eve. “Not your scene?”

She gave him a frosty look. “You can sit in the back the rest of the trip, Trevelyan.”

He tilted his head thoughtfully and then grinned. “Not if I get to the car first!” And he raced up the stairs.

“Hey!” Eve chased after him, shouting, and James just smiled, climbing sedately.


End file.
